I’m placing a disclaimer on this blog because I mention depression. My experience was not chemical depression. If that is your experience and you have not sought medical advice, please consider it. There is help available and I urge you to let yourself experience relief, any way you can.

I grew up hearing that moods, were something that came from God. I’m not sure how my Dad came to that conclusion, but he did. Something, somewhere along the line got interpreted into the idea that a heavy or dark mood was a gift you needed to experience to become a godlier person. His lie became my lie.

Turns out, it was simply an excuse for bad behavior.

I was in my mid-twenties before I figured that out.

I was going through one of those times where I felt completely ill-equipped to deal with whatever was going on in my life. I had felt depressed only a few times in the past but when it descended, I felt no other desire than to lock myself away from everyone and everything. This time would be no different – I escaped into my home - I shut the drapes and unplugged the phone. I just allowed myself to disappear for a while. I didn’t want people to see me this way. I slept a lot. Thought a lot. And did a fair bit of feeling sorry for myself.

At one point, I looked out of my window at a blizzard that was moving in and felt the words, you’re choosing this, you can choose something else. The words seemed somewhat ludicrous when I considered what I had accepted as the truth until now. Moods were given, not chosen. They weren’t things I had control over. But I couldn’t shake the phrase. It just kept going around and around in my head. You’re choosing this, you can choose something else.

So, I did the only thing I could think of doing – I ran away. And I did so by putting on a warm layer of clothing, went outside, grabbed a shovel out of the breezeway and set out on a “distracting” mission.

By this time the blizzard had definitely left its mark on the city – but the sky was clearing and there was a foot of snow everywhere I looked – and the snow was no longer falling too heavily and I began shoveling sidewalks.

I cleared up the public pathways and the neighbors’ walkways. I shovelled for blocks and blocks and blocks.

Big - heavy - wet - snow.

As the snow continued to come - I continued to shovel. Hours later, when I finally felt compelled to stop out of exhaustion, I noticed I felt a titch of hope.

I had distracted myself from the voice in my head and interrupted the familiar pattern long enough to find myself with a different emotion.

I look back at that moment, almost thirty years ago now, and I recognize the gift my Divine Intuition was giving me when I heard, you’re choosing this, you can choose something else. For the first time, I realized I had a choice.

I had a choice in how I wanted to think about what was going on in my life, at any given moment. I wasn’t making a choice when I went to shovel – that was me trying to escape the voice – but the distraction inevitably got me off the topic and a new emotion was able to sneak in – and there I was moving out of my depression into the faint feeling of hope.

A world of possibilities was now standing in front of me.

We don’t always get to choose what happens in our life, but we can always choose how we’re going to feel about it and how we’re going to react to it. When we get good at choosing better thoughts, feelings and reactions, we can create an energy shift that will dramatically increases the level of joy in our lives.

When we shift our thoughts, we get a glimmer of relief and once we get relief - we can begin a journey toward moods or emotions that feel better throughout our whole body. I know this seems like a simple idea, and for some of you there might be a bit of pushback - but all I can say is that this concept can greatly improve the quality of your life and by extension, the life of anyone around you.

Sh!t happens! Sometimes things don’t go as we plan. Whatever it is, we always have a choice about HOW we’re going to think about it and HOW we’re going to react to it. This is emotional intelligence – and if all we did was stop here – in this awareness our lives would improve dramatically. But emotional intelligence can lead to so much more.

So, something happens to knock you off centre – look at it - is it a curse or blessing? A problem or an opportunity? Ask yourself, what’s the upside here? Is there a downside and can I manage it? What is this situation giving me more clarity about? Is it a clue that tells me what I really want?

Try this the next time a situation makes you sad, angry, depressed or overwhelmed: allow yourself to feel it. Don’t just shove it down and pretend it doesn’t exist, just feel it and then make a deliberate attempt to shift your thoughts to feel something a little bit better. Even putting a smile on your face can make a remarkable difference.

Now – if that seems too simple to you – try it – right now. Be aware of how you’re feeling in this moment and then make a big smiling face until your cheeks lift. Big smile – so you can feel it in your eyes. Now stick with it for a few seconds. Can you feel the lift? Can you feel even the smallest change in your energy and demeanor. This may not be universal – but it has such a dramatic affect on me – I hope you’re getting a taste of the same thing. This one small action has saved me from days of stewing in emotions that give me no pleasure – and move much closer to the life I came to live.

Do you ever feel emotions that don’t feel good? What do you do? Do you let them pass of their own accord – or do you deliberately shift them.

If you don’t have a tool to do it deliberately and you want one – here’s some questions that have worked for me.

What’s really going on here? Is there room for another perspective? Do I need more information? Could I have misunderstood something or overreacted? Am I giving someone else power to make me feel something I don’t want to feel? If all of this fails, then distract yourself with an entirely different activity. Go for a walk, play with a pet, count the good stuff in your life, enjoy a good daydream or go shovel snow.