Popping Your Corks on Health, Money, Sex and Everything Else!
Coaxing Your Ego into Embracing Change and Growth
There's always been a delicious thing that's happened for me over the years, especially when I've been in a place where I am learning a new way of moving in the world - and that interesting thing is there have been people who've come alongside me, who have supported me in my journey – and that support more often than not – has been the result of talking things through.
When we keep stuff in our head – it can get distorted and confusing – but when we give our thoughts a voice – they can morph more easily into action because giving it a voice can move us away from fear.
Now if this describes you in some way, I'm hoping that the stage we’re setting here - is that you're going to feel supported in your journey as we cover a bunch of different things – that you will move towards being more curious about the marvel that is you
I don't think it's any secret here that I have a desire to be part of waking people up from how they are living their lives. I don't mean that in any superior way - I'm not trying to say I know more than anyone out there. I'm not even saying that this is the only way to go through this process of discovery. But I believe that there is such an advantage to being exposed to many different teachers, many different ideas, and many ways of seeing the world.
I grew up being told there was only one way. It was the way my parents’ thought was right. It was the way their parents’ thought was right. And it was the way their parents’ parents’ thought was right and I would imagine that line went back many generations farther than I know.
I'm bringing this up at this particular moment because I have two mentors in my life right now both of which have shamans as their mentors. Shamans date back tens of thousands of years, It's a very ancient wisdom practice and I can't begin to explain the depth of any of that because much of it is new to me. But over the last couple of weeks my mind has been bent in such a terrific way that I'm still trying to catch up with some of that information and trying to figure out how that fits into my life.
None of it changes what I've come to believe - but I can tell you that it will enhance what I believe. And it will help me undo some of the things that are still somewhat of a knot of confusion in my life because this new way of seeing things has shifted my perspective enough that I can see those old issues from a new angle.
Although it's a whole new level of seeing what we're connected to - if we embrace the fact that we are more than just these physical representations – that we are part of something far greater and far more mysterious than most of us have been led to believe - it is all super empowering information.
That's what you and I are doing here. You may have heard some version of some of the things I've been sharing with you but perhaps you're now hearing it here from just a little bit of a different angle and it's able to help you shift your perspective. I'm hoping that's true.
There is a whole world of people out there that simply drift through their life. They are still under the impression that what you get is what you get. As if you just have to follow along with whatever was or is presented to you. If your parents or ancestors weren't educated you won't be educated, or it will be exceptional if you are. If you were born into an economically poor family that too will be true of you in some way shape or form. If all the relationships in your life were hard, tumultuous, perhaps even violent, chances are you will find yourself in a similar situation as well or you just choose not to participate in any relationships at all – just to keep yourself safe.
Every time we hear something new, we have two choices: we choose to walk towards the new perspective, or we put our heads back in the sand. The choice is ours. The choice is always ours.
If there is a part of you that longs to experience freedom in any area where you're currently not feeling freedom, you're entitled to that experience. This is why you're here. You're here to truly become who you've come to be. It’s not about what you may do, or have, as a result – it’s simply about being who you came to be.
Remember when I gave you the metaphor of the cork on a bottle of champagne in the last blog? The cork is all of the conditioned beliefs, inherited beliefs or outright lies you've learned to believe about yourself, others and the world at large. And how our work here is about doing anything and everything in our power to pop that f#cking Cork until the energy of what's inside that bottle can be released.
Now that energy contained within that bottle represents the innate power you came into this world with. That energy is connected to all the energy that has ever been and will ever be. That may sound a little airy fairy and esoteric. but it's science. This is quantum mechanics. This is what Einstein was explaining about energy being constant and unending - it cannot be extinguished. It just transmutes into something new. It keeps being reimagined and reborn from the beginning of time to the end of time.
Now I have believed that on some level for many years now, but some of the stuff that my mentors have been talking about in the last couple of weeks - has taken that to a whole new level. For now, the most reassuring thing for me - is that what I'm talking about here - as far as you deciding to come here on purpose and with intent - is bang on. This isn't some nebulous random idea - it just may be new to some of you out there – this is supported by all the ancient wisdom systems.
In light of that - I'm going to keep pressing on with telling some stories from my own life where I've been able to pop some corks and get that burst of energy that comes from releasing a lie. Every time I've been able to do that it has propelled me into a new place - into a new perspective and into significant shifts in my physical world.
I must say I am curious if the cork and champagne metaphor was something that resonated with you? Are you already able to see where you've got a blockage that is keeping you from experiencing the life you came to live? Is there a cork you're wanting to pop or perhaps you've already popped it?
You know we get exposed to so many ideas and so many philosophes and so many ways of doing our life and we can think that - oh I already know that - I've heard that 1000 times or I've heard that in a different way - 1000 times - but here's the truth of it - if you are not seeing the evidence of that knowledge in your life, it's just something you've heard or read. You don't know it to be true.
You see - everything about your current situation, your financial situation, your relationship situation, your work situation, your peace of mind situation, your sense of deservedness or your sense of belonging is all a direct reflection of who you currently believe you are. You are an energetic match to who you believe you are.
If you are not getting the things, you think are good - in your life - you are going to need to learn to believe you deserve something more and as you become convinced that you deserve something more - you need to change your identity to be the person who has already achieved what it is you desire.
I’m not talking about creating an alternate personality or a disguise of some kind – I’m talking about identity as in how you see yourself. What are the characteristic and traits of you – in your current circumstances – and how would that need to change in order for you to BE the person who has the life or experiences you’re desiring.
I know this is a crazy weird idea for some of you, but identity and energy are intrinsically connected, and you've got to pay attention to what is standing in front of you right now - to let you know what both of those things are.
What is standing in front of you right now is an energetic match to who you believe you are and what it is you believe you deserve.
I'll tell you right now the best thing you can do for yourself is get comfortable being uncomfortable. Your ego will move you to fear when you hear a new idea. Your intuition will move you to curiosity. That is a helpful distinction I wish I’d learned much earlier in my life – but I know it now!
That doesn't mean you can't be discerning but when you meet a new idea - look at it, turn it over, inspect it, don't be afraid of it. Everything is trying to move you forward into a truer sense of who you are and what you've come to do.
Let me tell you about my conditioned beliefs about Health, Healing and Wellbeing – turns out – not everything we learn is bad. There are somethings you want to hold on to – and others you will want to let go of.
My parents both talked about how resilient our bodies are for healing. Being sick was a rare experience in our family, we rarely went to the doctor, in fact even when I busted up my leg in grade 7 in a high-jumping accident the first thing my parents did was take me to a healer not a doctor. Now it turns out the healer wasn't able to fix what was wrong but what I picked up in all of that - was that my body was built to heal itself.
Now the negative end of that stick - was that we kids really needed to buck up when we were hurt. So, I could get my hands shut in a car door and the expectation of both of my parents especially my dad was that I wouldn't cry and that I would be able to handle it.
When that happens at 5 years old, all you really want is for your dad to come and cuddle you and say that everything is going to be OK. But I learned to deny the pain I was feeling so I could get his praise. It's a bit of a bassackwards way of getting positive attention from a parent and we can unpack that in a different episode.
The thing I want to emphasize for this show - is that I was conditioned to believe I was healthy, strong, that my body was built to fix itself if something was wrong. As a result, I rarely pick up flus or colds just because there are flus and colds going around – I don’t fear getting sick and I know that if I do – my body will recover quickly. For the most part that inherited belief has served me incredibly well.
My identity is of a person whose body serves them well. So energetically that expectation has translated into being strong and healthy – and getting stronger and healthier as I age.
Now let’s explore a message that left me with an identity and an energy that did not serve me.
I heard a lot of negative stuff about money – my dad worked for himself, and he was in the rhythm of feast or famine; sometimes tons and then very little. He also believed that god was keeping him humble in the lean times, he wore it as a bit of a badge of honor – and also carried some anger about never being able to figure out how to make god happy enough so he would bless him with money.
Dad had a distain for the very rich or the educated person – and to make himself feel better – he would say they were out of touch with reality. Apparently, it’s only people who struggle with money who understand how the world works. He also believed that money was a limited resource – so if someone else had lots – it meant he had to have less. What a bizarre concept don’t you think? But there are still tons of people who think this way. There were a lot more layers to this – but that’ll give you a strong enough sense of the identity was about money.
For me, there were a lot of years where my financial situation wasn't what I wanted it to be. Now at no time in my life - did anyone ever sit down with me and instruct me on what I should believe or feel about money. All of that information was coming at me - from feeling the feelings in my environment, and overhearing conversations that were NOT meant for me to hear. Nevertheless, I picked it up as clearly as if they had spoken directly to me.
Now let's fast forward 25 years – I’m in my 30s at the time and I'm trying to figure out how to get my sh!t together on the topic of money. I had been exposed to the concepts defined in stories about the law of attraction or the success people were having using positive thinking – oh that idea that I could create my own reality was so juicy to me. It all sounded marvelous and lovely and easy. You know - just sit there and visualize money piling up on your dining room table and presto there it is - in all its glory? Or you want a fancy sports car? – well just imagine yourself driving it super fast down the nearest highway – and it will be in your driveway in no time.
The truth is a lot of this stuff worked for me initially. I think that there was such a tremendous energetic shift in me at this new way of thinking - that I received all kinds of incredible financial opportunities in a short period of time. But each of them disappeared almost as quickly as they had come.
Now I needed to know why. So, I looked back on what I had picked up while I had grown up. I wasn't consciously holding on to any of that information. I believed I had long let go of the things I had picked up from my father. But there were patterns I was seeing in myself that felt a lot like him. Initially - I thought oh gawd I'm stuck with this - I AM my dad. But it turns out it was just an unconscious or subconscious belief playing out.
Turns out my identity about money was that it was random and attached to both shallowness and pridefulness. The underlying belief finally showed up as un-deservedness. Yep, I didn’t deserve it – so I was an energetic match to lack – not abundance.
Remember our ego wants us in the familiar so that you can stay safe. My financial situation kept me in that familiar feeling. My pattern looked like this - I went through years of having lots of money show up in work opportunities and then it would disappear nearly as quickly as it came. I wasn't consciously finding ways of making it disappear, but my subconscious was energetically moving me towards situations and decisions that would ensure that that was the result.
I found myself in a perpetual state of starting over. Sometimes it would manifest in leaving a company as soon as they wanted to fast-track me to management. I did this repeatedly in my early twenties. I often moved hundreds of miles away, so I’d have to start over on several levels. Sometimes it would mean investing in something completely foolish and other times I’d simply spend it all and would have nothing to show for it. Can you see how utterly irrational we are when we live in our egoic brains?
When we believe an illusion, it takes away our power to create the life we want. When we see it for what it is and do something about it, we begin to move toward new possibilities. Inspired ideas can now come, and the volume of our intuition can begin to get louder.
Now when I notice myself listening to that mental chatter my ego is famous for - I know in that moment; I’m allowing a hidden inherited belief to take over. I, then and there, make a conscious choice to take back my power. All of the negative energy my father attached to money was an illusion – it was his paradigm. Money is a neutral energy. It’s not making value judgements – it’s only responding to my energy – it is always matching my expectations – and my expectations are based on what I believe to be true about myself and what I believe about money.
Do you have a belief about Health or Money? Perhaps more than one? Start writing some of this stuff down. You’re waking up to the truth. Be open to where you might be unconsciously trapped into believing a lie. If money or health is not your obstacle, then how about sex or love or success or being different than everyone else? What did you pick up from your kid hood about these ideas? How did your friends talk about this stuff? What did you pick up at school or at work or through social media?
A really simple way to recognize when you are currently believing a lie – is to pay attention to your emotions. Emotion is a direct reflection of what you’re thinking. If you’re feeling negative emotions – check into the thoughts going around in your head.
If there’s a negative thought that pops up about your topic of choice – you’ll need to change the thought – or at the very least dilute it – so it can lose some of its power over, you. Remember the line from blog nine? I used to believe that, but I no longer do. This can be a powerfully transforming statement and can be very helpful in calming you down so that you can really decide for yourself whether you want to continue down that path of belief.
We’ve explored how inherited beliefs can be helpful or limiting. We looked at how new ideas can be overwhelming - so our ego will react from fear - but we also learned we can choose curiosity instead. Remember - curiosity is a signature characteristic of our intuition. The side benefit following that - is your intuition gets louder and easier to hear the more you listen.
A good thing to keep in mind is when you feel fear and you’re not in imminent danger – choose to explore – be curious and see what’s there for you – maybe there’s a cork you need to pop. And finally, we learned how to coax our safety conscious ego to learn and grow and try new things by simply repeating – I used to believe that, but I no longer do.
Those are pretty good tools – don’t you think – can you feel yourself wanting to move forward on some areas of your life – and changing your identity and energy around them. We’re going to continue this on coming shows – so just stick with me as we do more and more exploration.
By Layne Smith-Brown