Personal Development

Your parents and caregivers had their shot – now it’s your turn!

Here’s the truth; every one of us picked up untrue messages about ourselves and the world around us during the foundational years of our lives. Around seven years of age we gained the ability to be critical thinkers, but most of us were not encouraged to use that skill. So, we continued to be influenced over the following years by our culture, society, religion, school, peers, co-workers, friends, and social media.

That means there’s a whole world of people out there with opinions and biases, on all kinds of things, that aren’t based on anything real. It’s just a bunch of people going along for the ride. But you, are no longer that kind of person. You are on a personal journey to uncover what could be standing in the way of you and everything you want to experience in this lifetime.

Alright, so depending on how much personal exploration you’ve already done; you still have trillions of bits of unfiltered and unchallenged “facts” floating around in your subconscious mind. I’ll explain how and why that happened in a bit. But for now, know that if that information has not been challenged it puts your whole life on autopilot. Why is that so dangerous? Because you have no idea where you’re headed. This is what I call drifting through your life – and I’ll write more on that a little later.

Have you ever found yourself looking at your life and wondering “how did I get here?” or “where did the time go?” – that’s drifting, and it’s a lousy way to do a life. But something is calling you. Something is whispering in your ear that your life matters, it has meaning and purpose. It is meant to be honored and shared – not from any sense of obligation or duty but out of self empowerment and meaning.

Now, I work from the premise that you came into this world with purpose and intention and you have something unique, to offer the world. As you continue this path to self-discovery you will uncover what that unique gift or quality is.

This whole concept of self-development is not about acquiring skills as much as it is about understanding “what makes you tick”. When you understand what’s playing in the background you move into a level of self-awareness that can alter every aspect of your life in a positive way.

Understanding yourself means you are better equipped to evaluate and appreciate your own self-worth which will inform how you walk into every situation going forward. This is self-discovery and it contains the seeds that help you grow a more amazing life. It will affect what kind of opportunities come to you in work, in love, in financial resources, in health and in your overall well-being.

You see most of the messages you received about yourself and the world around you came from disconnected “grownups” who were still acting from the messages they got growing up about themselves, and the world around them. Most of those messages were filtered through fear (fear of abandonment and fear of rejection). In essence we come from a long line of disconnected people raising more disconnected people. You’re about to interrupt that pattern. Good on you!

In the work I do with people, I refer to all that unfiltered, unchallenged information as Power Leaks. They are Power Leaks – because they drain us of our Authentic Power and prevent us from hearing our intuition. Power Leaks serve as distractions and keep us playing small with our lives.

Because we were taught at such an early age to not listen to ourselves – we’ve gotten disconnected from that inner guidance system we all have called intuition. Intuition is way bigger than a gut instinct or spidey senses or good luck. Intuition is a connection to a stream of energy and information that is in the Field of Possibilities. Now, that sounded pretty airy fairy didn’t it? Can you see yourself skipping through meadow filled with nothing but sunshine and daisies?

Truth is the Field of Possibilities is science and here’s a super quick recap of grade five science class to help explain. Do you remember the first time you heard something like, “the table you are sitting at is more empty space than matter. What appears solid was simply particles moving slowly enough so we could see them”.

It was a mind-blowing bit of information wasn’t it? Then we just went back to our lives as if it didn’t really affect us in any significant way. But it’s monumental! It offers us the opportunity to be, do and have anything we want in this lifetime. Let me show you what I mean.

At our essence, we are all electromagnetic energy – atoms, protons, neutrons, electrons - more space and energy than matter. Our physical bodies are an electromagnetic field of energy. You are made of the same stuff as the stars, the sky the sun and the moon. You’re also made of the same stuff as a lamp, a hammer, a tree, your TV, your deck, the kitchen island, the neighbor’s cat and the plate you used at breakfast this morning.

All of the energy that makes up you - also makes up the universe. Some call this The Field of Possibilities. And you thought I was just making that up – didn’t you? Its chief characteristic – is that it can become anything. And you are interacting with it at all times on a subconscious energetic level whether you recognize it or not.

You communicate with The Field of Possibilities with your thoughts. If you’re like most folks you’re not curating those thoughts very well because you’re still operating from your Power Leaks (unfiltered/unchallenged thoughts, beliefs, biases and opinions still floating around in your subconscious mind). This means you’re creating by accident. Oops!

Alright – let’s get specific – let’s name some popular Power Leaks; Living in Fear, Worry, Mindless Routine, Being Ungrateful, Holding Grudges or Resentment, Playing It Safe, Being Disappointed, Overwhelmed, Impatient or Settling for Just Good Enough.

Power Leaks also manifest as Shame, Embarrassment, Insecurity, Scarcity, Lack and Agitation. Power Leaks can look like Exhaustion, Panic and a Lack of Focus, Self-Sabotage, Confusion and Learned Helplessness. Power Leaks are any emotion that is keeping you away from expressing what you’ve come to bring the world just by being your Authentic YOU.)

Now, don’t waste your time seeing that list as discouraging – see it as an opportunity for you to get clear of beliefs, behaviors and emotions that are keeping you from listening to your inner guidance system (intuition). Your intuition is how you interact with the Field of Possibilities. 

To deal with this faulty information that is floating around in your subconscious mind it will help to understand how it files information. Everyone’s subconscious mind works from four basic rules.

  1. Good and True
  2. Like with Like
  3. Familiar equals Safe
  4. Power Leaks Make You Happy
Personal development 2

Before we’re around seven years old, our subconscious takes everything in as Good and True. Zero evaluation. You experience something, hear something, or feel something, and it is filed and remembered as Good and True!

This is why we often follow the previous generation into religions, political affiliations, team allegiances, and radical civic or national pride. We never chose those beliefs and biases, we simply followed along. This is also why there is so much “Them and Us” in the world. It’s only because we’ve not challenged the ideas we were exposed to. The whole point of personal development is that all of that can be corrected when we discover what hidden beliefs we’re working from.

I will guarantee you are also still operating from other people's opinions about you from those early years as well. Things like whether you were too tall, too short, too assertive, or not assertive enough, too skinny, too fat, slow, quick, inconvenient, unlovable, special, not special, precious, or expendable. None of this filed information - needed to be explored or explained. It just got placed in your subconscious mind, as good and true. You learned your value, your capabilities, and your destiny here as well – unless of course you’ve done some work to change that story.

Most of that information is neither good or true – and that’s why you’re here.

Now if Good and True wasn’t unhelpful enough, your mind does something even more screwy, it files Like with Like. Let me explain.

Let's say I'm a little kid and I'm walking along the street and I pass a blue house. In the yard is a large green tree, a swing set and a red ball. Can you see it?

Out of no where - a large dog comes at me and barks. It quite literally scares the crap out me. Thank goodness it was on a leash and was stopped before it could do any more harm.

Now, you know from listening to that story that it was the dog that was scary - but your ego (subconscious/unconscious) mind could just as easily associate the blue house, the large green tree, the swing set and the red ball as threats – and file that all together.

So, the next time you see a red ball or a blue house or a green tree or a swing set you could unconsciously start moving more quickly or to the other side of the street - because on some level your body is getting prepared to avoid the oncoming threat.

It's a pretty imperfect system – would you agree? But just the fact that you're getting this – right now - will change how you evaluate your feelings from now on.

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This is big stuff - and very few people really understand how much their sub-conscious is leading their lives.

So along with "Good and True" and this "Like with Like" scenario, your sub-conscious has determined that those feelings are familiar to you.

The subconscious/ego then makes the leap that Familiar equals Safe. In other words – it is operating on the premise that you enjoy feeling a certain way – so it keeps moving you towards actions that will ensure you stay in that feeling state. It’s a vicious thought loop and the only way to stop – is to wake up.

So, I’ve been describing these unconscious behaviors and beliefs as Power Leaks. And your subconscious thinks your Power Leaks equal Safe. Therefore, your Power Leaks are Your Happy Place. Crazy huh?

If you’re hearing this for the first time – it sounds pretty wild. Really - even if you’ve heard this a thousand times it sounds a pretty wild.

This tiny portion of your big, beautiful mind was never designed for this kind of reasoning - your ego-mind (where all your unfiltered and unchallenged beliefs are stored) is prehistoric. It wasn’t designed to be a critical thinker. It was only built to keep you safe from tigers, falling rocks, dinosaurs, and that big beautiful neanderthal in the bushes over there - with a big club in her hands. If you haven’t been taught to think critically - it is forced to take over.

With this work - you’re learning to step out of your ego - and into a much more effective way of navigating your life.

The most important thing to understand at this moment, is if you can be programmed to have a Power Leak – you can be programmed NOT to have a Power Leak.

What you’re recognizing in the work of personal development is that you have ALL of the power because you can control what you think. You can think more powerful thoughts and get more powerful results.

Are you starting to connect some dots? I often use the term Fix of Familiarity - because Power Leaks can become an addiction. Maybe you’ve heard the term Self-Sabotage? Yep, that’s what happens, and you unconsciously mess things up for yourself. But not any more - you are now living with purpose and intention – so that sh!t’s over!

Now, I hate to break it to you, but this won’t happen by accident; it only happens if you set your mind to it. Change is intentional. You must decide to awaken. Which means you get to live by choice instead of by accident. You get to live from self-awareness and self-actualization instead of by defence or survival.

Self development means YOU are developing your Sense of Self – you’ve taken your power back!  You are now in a state of choice. Outside of time, choice is the most valuable commodity there is.

Will you come with me on this journey to uncover what unfiltered and unchallenged beliefs are playing in the background so you can fall in love with yourself all over again. From that new vantage point self-care becomes less about bubble baths and shopping sprees and more about wanting to get to know yourself more deeply so that you can share your amazingness with the world.

This is work – but you’re worth it! It’s time to get to know the real you! It’s time to embrace your power. As Marianne Williamson’s encouraged.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. 

A liberated life – means you are free to be you!

There’s just no downside to that!

 

I believe our world changes for the better one conversation at a time. In my experience, having a great chat with a good and insightful friend can have a greater and more lasting affect on us than reading some of the best books on the market. That is why I created the Unleash Your Life! Podcast for women.

Each show is an easy conversation offers to make big transformational ideas simple. Its filled with questions so you can make the conversation as personal as you want.

The shows are filled with personal stories of how I discovered what makes me ME! So that you can discover what makes you YOU! Fair warning: I’m a sh!t disturber by nature so  I am irreverent, provocative and challenging. It may not always be comfortable, but I’ll never leave you hanging. I want you to experience a lasting inner-peace and that will be offered on every show.

We are meant to be Queens sisters! We are meant to walk in the world with our heads held high, in all our glory and majesty. From that strength and sense of purpose we are called to share our wisdom and experience with the world.

We came in with purpose and intention women!. We have gifts to offer the world.

YOU have gifts to offer the world.

Come listen in on the conversation and get inspired to Unleash Your Life!

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By Layne Smith-Brown

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